Category Archives: theology

Parenting, the Gospel, and MTD

Several days ago I tweeted “What’s best for our kids and what’s best for God’s kingdom generally aren’t mutually exclusive.”

I have thought about it every day since, in a variety of different situations other than the one that prompted my tweet. We want our kids to be safe, happy, and successful by American standards: well-educated, socially adept, able to earn a comfortable living. The problem is when we value those things above everything else, that’s what we impart to our children, as their beliefs are shaped by our actions more than our rhetoric. More and more American Christianity has turned to Moral Therapeutic Deism.

The fact that most Christian teens in the US believe the central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself should be very sobering to the church. The good news isn’t that if you work hard, you will be successful and happy.

I’m not sure how this fleshes itself out in everyday life, but our children have to know that though they are loved and valued, their happiness, comfort and safety are not the top priority in the life of our family.

We are united to Christ in salvation, and so we share in the great work he is doing in redeeming the world. We share in his sufferings, so we can share in his glory. How can that define our family life? What difference does the gospel make in our choices for our children?

Lent at Home

A Continuing Series on Celebrating the Church Year.

Lent is a season of repentance in preparation for Easter, which begins Ash Wednesday (February 22nd in 2012) and continues to Holy Week. It has been marked traditionally by fasting, prayer and acts of charity. In Lent, we reflect on such questions as: what routine sins are estranging me from God and other people? In what ways has my heart grown cold to the gospel? What idols of my heart are distorting my love for God?

Because the Lenten season is more somber in tone, it can be hard to know how to observe it at home with children. This post is a collection of ideas, certainly not a prescriptive list we are doing in full this year (or any year!) I’d love to hear what you’ve done in the past or plan to do in the future.

PREPARING FOR LENT
Shrove Tuesday, or Mardi Gras, is the day preceding Ash Wednesday. Traditionally, people used up butter, eggs, sugar and other things they might be giving up for Lent by making pancakes. I am planning to make these gingerbread pancakes to eat as we talk about our plans for Lent over dinner.

For me, Ash Wednesday services set the tone for Lent, the liturgy is powerful. They tend to have short homilies that are child-friendly at the Episcopal and Anglican parishes we’ve visited, and we’ve always felt very welcome even with wiggly toddlers or noisy babies. Sometimes less-liturgical churches will have Ash Wednesday services without the imposition of ashes, if you like the idea but not the ashes.

DURING LENT ITSELF
Make a commitment to confess your sins together as a family. With smaller children, this would be done orally, but you could write them out if you have teens and feel that would work better.

Memorize one of the Psalms of repentance that are traditional to the season of Lent: 6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130 or 143.

Use prayers of confession like the familiar general confession from the episcopal church or this one from St. Ambrose at home.

After confession, you can foreshadow Easter by using hopeful affirmations of assurance of pardon and union with Christ, like this one from the Syrian Orthodox tradition: “How fair and lovely is the hope which the Lord gave to the dead when he lay down like them beside them. Rise up and come forth and sing praise to Him who has raised you from destruction.”

Fast from something: dessert, TV or another distraction. Perhaps introduce a few meatless days into your meal rotation. Don’t forget that Sundays are for feasting and remembering a resurrected Christ, even during lent. Break your fast and enjoy whatever you’ve given up.

Use meditative, breath prayers like: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Read scripture! You can use the lectionary to guide scripture reading as a family. Decide how much time you can spend daily and plan accordingly (e.g. one psalm, the OT and the gospel.) If that’s too much, just read through one of the gospels together. If you aim to finish before holy week, you’d end up needing to read less than a chapter a day.

Pray throughout the day. You could make a commitment to the daily Morning, Evening and Night prayers (with the daily lectionary readings) from the Book of Common Prayer or use a resource like Phyllis Tickle’s The Divine Hours.

Learn the verses of a hymn of confession you sing in church. “Nothing But the Blood” is particularly good for pre-readers.

Here’s a playlist on Spotify of appropriate songs for lent.

Contemplate acts of service you can do as a family or individually. Consider giving to a ministry that serves the poor by freeing up money you might have spent on something else.

Make pretzels, a traditional lenten bread and reminder to pray.

Remind yourselves of how lent is a time of growth by planting seeds for your spring garden. Starting seedlings depends on your climate, germination times, etc. But it could line up well to plant the week after Easter if you don’t live in the frigid north.

Simplify your schedule or your possessions. Clear out things you don’t need, and give them to a local thrift store.

Do a devotional together. Noel Piper’s Lenten Lights is a weekly devotional that includes a candle component, we’ve not used it but it may be a good fit if you have smaller children and don’t want to make a daily commitment. If you have teens, Henri Nouwen’s Show Me the Way is a classic. Bread and Wine is a collection of readings from great writers for Lent and Easter. City Church, Philadelphia (PCA) has a good guide with scripture readings and prayer for each day during lent.

I made a few printables, for those of you who like to rotate seasonal decor with the church calendar. (If you click on them, they will open large enough to print at 8×10.)

Epiphany at Home

A Continuing Series on Celebrating the Church Year.

Epiphany is the day we celebrate the wise men finding Jesus, but it’s more than that. In Epiphany, our savior is revealed, first to the wise men, then through his baptism, his first miracle. Jesus did not remain hidden, rather Christ showed himself to us. Epiphany is an extension of our meditation on the incarnation that began in Advent. He dwelt in the world, not in secret, but with public words and deeds in a variety of places, that all may see him and worship, just as the wise men did when they found him.

Celebrating at home may be as simple as reading the story. You can find the text in Matthew 2:1-12 and a corresponding story in the Jesus Storybook Bible called “The King of all kings.” Continue reading

Why Celebrate the Church Year?

I plan to share some ideas for celebrating the church year at home in the coming months, and perhaps the best place to start is with this question. Why should we celebrate the church year at all?

From a theological perspective, the church calendar brings a balance to teaching. Jesus’ life and work, his death and resurrection, are given due time each year. The various seasons and holy days also remind us of different postures and states we have as God’s people. First, the longing of Advent, when we remember the wait for a savior, reminds us of our wait for a new heaven and a new earth. Then we share in the joy of the incarnation, a God who loved us enough to dwell among us, followed by the grace of Epiphany, and how Jesus was made known to the world, a light to all. In the penitence of Lent, we are reminded of our sin and need for a savior. And then we experience the joy of Easter, weeks and weeks to remember the resurrection before the mystery of Pentecost, when we remember the Holy Spirit descended and dwells within us. Sometimes, we can fall into the habit of focusing too much on just one aspect of redemptive history, and the calendar serves as a corrective to that impulse.

As humans, we long for rituals and love traditions. Everybody has them. Shaping family life and memories around the church is a good thing for our children. It’s a way to show them that Christ is important to us. If your church celebrates the church year, it’s another way you can show the way your life intersects with the church. There’s nothing wrong with non-church related traditions! We have plenty of those as well. But marking the year with different ways of celebrating God’s work in the world is a way of reinforcing redemptive history for our children.

There are a lot of traditions for celebrating the church year around the world, and I’d love to hear some you’ve participated in and enjoyed.

POSTS SO FAR
Advent at Home
Christmas at Home
Epiphany and Blessing Your Home
Lent at Home
Holy Week and Easter at Home
Ascension and Pentecost at Home
Ordinary Time
Reformation, All Saints & Christ the King at Home

When Helping Hurts by Brian Fikkert & Steve Corbett

When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and OurselvesWhen Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Ourselves by Steve Corbett
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

When Helping Hurts is a helpful and necessary book that I’d recommend to others interested in the best practices of mercy ministry and community development from a Christian perspective. Coming out of a reformed worldview of creation, fall, and redemption, the authors see the purpose of mercy ministries as restoring people to right relationships with God, one another, creation and having a healthy and biblical view of themselves. They have many years of experience and research to share and great examples of applications both in the US and abroad.

The basic theology of ministry and paradigm shift for readers from relief to development and also how to evaluate short term mission work, are worth re-reading regularly. I took the Chalmers Center’s Foundations & Principles of Holistic Ministry distance class a few years ago, so much of the groundwork was familiar to me, but I still appreciate having it all together in one succinct package.

A few things perplex me. Though the authors mention that we should not be paternalistic and that we all have poverty in our lives and relationships even if we are not materially-poor, this wasn’t as well fleshed out as I would have liked, especially in the examples. I think people are at a loss as to how to have equity in relationships with the materially poor and this book won’t help much.

The tone is very instructional, almost to the point of being condescending. Though I do see many doing ministry in ways that hurt the poor and themselves, I also see the way God uses those who act out of compassion, even when their efforts aren’t always perfect. I wanted to tell Brian, “stop beating yourself up!” Best practices are excellent to strive for, but I have felt paralyzed by the thought, “am I doing this right?” Readers need to be told that the mandate to care for the poor is worth putting yourself out there and making mistakes. (8.5/10)

Hymnody and Easter

When you think of Easter, what hymn or song pops into your head? It’s sort of an interesting exercise. If you are raised in the church, it might reveal your upbringing or church of origin. If your parents were Jesus people, Keith Green may race into your head with “Hear the bells ringing, they’re singing that you can be born again…” A little older or less hip parents: “Because He Lives.” Independent Fundamental Bapticostal types might remember “He Lives! He Lives! Christ Jesus Lives Today!” or “Up from the Grave He Arose! With a Mighty Triumph O’er His Foes!” If you were confirmed Lutheran, perhaps it’s “Christ Jesus Lay in Death’s Strong Bands.” Other traditional churches might have imparted, “Christ the Lord is Risen Today! A-a-a-a-a-le-lu-u-ia!”

As for me, I always think of “This Joyful Eastertide.” One year in Austin, but the hymnody of Redeemer Presbyterian sticks to the brain.

The beautiful thing is that as I consider these hymns, I may have preferences, but there is a clear message: He is Risen! Happy Easter.

Learning to Long Well

Yesterday Kate asked me to read her a “black history story” since she was sad their black history month unit was over. So, we read Martin’s Big Words. Afterward, she asked me some questions about why people hate each other, and why the police didn’t do more to protect Martin. I gave her some answers rooted in history, not spiritual in the least.

She was quiet for about a minute, then asked, “When there’s the new heavens and the new earth, will it last an hour or a day or a week?” I wasn’t sure where she was going, so she asked again, “When the new heavens and the new earth come, will it be for a day or a week or a month?” “No, baby, the new heavens and the new earth will last forever, forever and ever.” “And there will be no sickness and no one sad and no one dying and no hate forever and ever?!” “Forever and ever.” “I wish the new heavens and the new earth would come right now.” “Me too, baby.”

I know that she will continue to struggle towards longing well. When she tempers her “Come, Lord Jesus” with “after I have my first kiss” or “after I can drive” or “after I get married”, I will understand. But I hope her simple, sweet faith will continues to encourage me as I keep learning to long.

Unexpected Grace

After two months of daily blogging, I took a few days respite. As I ran errands today, I was thinking about what I ought to blog about. Walking through Wal-Mart gave me several things to consider blogging about such as how annoying it was that the organic fruit snacks are up high and the “bad” ones shaped like princesses are at child’s eye view.

An hour and cart full of groceries later, the girls hit their breaking point and melted down over who was going to get the orange juice out of the case and put it in the cart. (At least they fight about helping, right?) My nearest fellow customer glared at them, and then at me. I tried unsuccessfully to mediate and then, a man walked toward me.

He was an older gentleman, and he reminded me of my great uncle Joe and his posse of Italian old men. Dressed in one of those old man tracksuits, with glasses and shaggy hair, he approached me with a smile. He clasped both his hands around mine, and I felt something pass between us. When I opened my hand I found two small lollipops. I thanked him profusely, then handed the candy to the children, who in their preoccupation with juice had missed the exchange completely. “Where’s this candy from?” they asked. “That nice gentleman there.” They bounded over to say thank you, and he returned once again. I watched as he reached his hand into his unzipped pocket and pulled out a big handful of butterscotch candies, giving them to me. We shared a smile, and he walked away.

It’s funny, two minutes earlier I had been thinking about 1 John 4, where it says that love is from God, and everyone that loves is born of God, and knows God, and more than that, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us. When I least expected it, I found love in the dairy aisle at Super Wal-Mart. I hope to be that gracious, to reach out to the harried and discouraged, and to remind them that they are not alone. At minimum, I hope to be a little old lady with a big purse full of lollipops.

Misconceptions about Disaster Relief

Over the last few years, I’ve read and learned a bit more about mercy ministry and what has been shown to work and not work, what is and isn’t helpful. I really appreciated this article by the relief director of World Vision debunking some common myths in light of the recent crisis in Haiti.

Holiness in the Church

“Realized moral excellence does not necessarily constitute holiness and may contradict it. Holiness is visible as faith’s penitent cry for forgiveness and mercy, its appeal for God to do what the Church cannot do for itself, namely, to keep it without sin and to gather it into the company of the saint in glory.”

| JOHN WEBSTER, Holiness |

Depth of Mercy

We were singing this in church yesterday and Lexi started dancing in the aisle, REALLY dancing. I caught a few friends’ eyes across the room and they were all cracking up. We sing it to a pretty danceable beat, all things considered. That probably would have bugged me more five years ago.

Depth of mercy can there be
Mercy still reserved for me?
Can my God his wrath forbear
Me the chief of sinners spare? Continue reading

20+C+M+B+10

I’m making King Cake today, and thinking about Epiphany. In the children’s hymn about the church year, we sing “In Epiphany we trace / all the glory of his grace.” We discover his glory revealed, first to the wise men, then through his baptism, his first miracle. He did not remain hidden, rather Christ showed himself to us. Epiphany is an extension of our meditation on the incarnation that began in Advent. He dwelt among us, not in secret, but with public words and deeds that all may see him and worship.

May Christ bless you and your house today, and throughout this season.