26.12.02
PRAYER REQUEST
My grandfather was diagnosed with bone cancer last Friday. He's in intense pain and they aren't sure how much longer he'll live. My family is leaving tomorrow morning for New York to go and see him. He may have been baptized, I'm not sure, but I know his life wasn't characterized by a faithful walk with the Lord. Please pray for him and for my family.
posted by kristen stewart | 18:55 | thoughts? |

25.12.02
MERRY CHRISTMAS
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them. --Luke 2

Like the shepherds and those that they told, i wonder at the Incarnation.
posted by kristen stewart | 15:10 | thoughts? |

24.12.02
KYRIE ELEISON
I'm sure everyone knows this by now, but for those of you who are equally uninformed, Matt Harper is blogging. Lord have mercy on us all. For those who don't have a personal relationship with Matt, it's important for you to know that every Reformed person in America is within two degrees of Matt. Most of them have stayed in his house and been fed by his mother. His talents include dancing, baking, walking on his hands and grading papers. Wow, this is starting to sound like a personals ad. I'm sure he also likes long walks on the beach, but i've never asked.
posted by kristen stewart | 00:27 | thoughts? |

23.12.02
FRAGILE
Over this weekend i have sensed my own fragility in so many ways. Sometimes i truly feel as if i am made out of clay. i need the Potter's hand, as i might just topple over. i found the proper music to capture my mood while i was driving a few days ago. Rich Mullins always meets my need for a soundtrack for a troubling time. "We are frail / we are fearfully and wonderfully made / forged in the fires of human passion / choking on the fumes of selfish rage / and when these our hells and our heavens / so few inches apart / we must be awfully small / and not as strong as we think we are." ... "Hold me Jesus / 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf / you have been king of my glory / won't you be my prince of peace?" ... "So if I stand let me stand on the promise / that you will pull me through / and if I can't, let me fall on the grace / that first brought me to You / and if I sing let me sing for the joy / that has born in me these songs / and if I weep let it be as a man / who is longing for his home" ... "This life has shown me how we're mended and how we're torn / how it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free / sometimes my ground was stoney / and sometimes covered up with thorns / and only You could make it what it had to be."
posted by kristen stewart | 21:16 | thoughts? |

ANSWERS
Several readers have asked why i am posting Christmas songs during Advent. The simple answer is this: i post something from Sunday worship every week. My church doesn't really celebrate Advent. Therefore, there are no Advent songs to post. Sometimes i wish i attended the perfect church where they observe the church calendar, do congregational responses during liturgy and celebrate the sacrament weekly. However, i am very proud to be a member of Christ Church, Cary. The people are phenomenal. We do commune each Sunday and encourage children to commune with us. i am not so ashamed that i would dare to post some wonderful Advent hymn we didn't sing just for good measure.

A quick note: my computer AND my family computer are broken due to a bad power cable that shorted them out. Gross. We were lent an old 166 mhz Dell laptop, painfully slow but functional, until that stopped functioning properly. i will write as often as i have the chance.
posted by kristen stewart | 12:32 | thoughts? |

SABBATH REFLECTION
God rest you merry, gentlemen,
Let nothing you dismay,
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas day,
To save us all from Satan's pow'r
When we were gone astray;
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

From God our heavenly Father
A blessed angel came.
And unto certain shepherds
Brought tidings of the same,
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by name:
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

"Fear not," then said the angel
"Let nothing you affright
This day is born a saviour
Of a pure virgin bright
To free all those who trust in him
From Satan's pow'r and might"
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.

The shepherds at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind,
And left their flocks a-feeding,
In tempest, storm, and wind,
And went to Bethlehem straightway
This blessed babe to find:
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
O tidings of comfort and joy.
--traditional English carol
posted by kristen stewart | 11:51 | thoughts? |

20.12.02
THE WAY OF THE BUFFALO?
At Harvard, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship is in danger of losing its funding for discrimination. In order to be an officer in HRCF, or any InterVarsity chapter, one must sign a statement of faith. Harvard and other universities are scrutinizing this policy and comparing it with discrimination policies on campus which state that students must not be denied opportunities based on race, gender, sexual orientation or creed. This makes sense in hiring and firing of university officials, but to a student organization, it's rubbish. Let's say 100 friends and i join the Ba'hai group on campus and vote ourselves into leadership. How about if we try it with the Black Student Movement, or Carolina Hispanic Association? The purpose of these organizations is to gather like-minded people. The greatest evil seems to be allowing people who don't espouse the ideals of the group to enter its leadership. This is not an isolated case. Will good sense prevail? Probably not. We are dealing with higher education, after all.
posted by kristen stewart | 10:36 | thoughts? |

19.12.02
I'VE DONE IT BEFORE BUT I'VE DONE IT AGAIN
(the SelectSmart Christian Denomination test, that is)
#1 Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod
#2 Presbyterian Church in America/Orthodox Presbyterian Church
#3 Reformed Churches
#4 Evangelical Lutheran Church
#5 Presbyterian Church USA
#6 Reformed Baptist
#7 Eastern Orthodox Church
posted by kristen stewart | 22:05 | thoughts? |

FEMINISTIC RANT
I am really glad one isn't permitted to bear grudges in heaven. Somedays i get so livid just thinking about Eve and all the physical and emotional baggage she has left for every woman since. i could be very tempted to beat her up.
posted by kristen stewart | 21:41 | thoughts? |

OH, BOY
"So Mom says you are going to take me to see that twin towers movie."
--my 12 year old brother
posted by kristen stewart | 21:39 | thoughts? |

18.12.02
ON BROWSING FOR BOOKS
There is a certain art to browsing for books in the library. I’ve neglected the craft for a semester now, so firmly bound to reading for the university that my pleasure reading was reduced to a steady stream of children’s literature to keep my sanity. But now, unfettered by the gap between semesters, I returned to the fiction section of the library, looking for books to curl up with by a warm fire. I know I’ll be receiving some books for Christmas, so I tried to limit myself to just a handful of novels. A handful of novels is also a good portion to carry across campus.

Browsing at the university is inherently better than browsing at the local library—the former uses the Library of Congress system and the latter organizes fiction by author, mixing the classics with disgraceful, trashy novels I wouldn’t be caught with, even sunbathing. That is, if I sunbathed. The university libraries have scores of thousands of books, so one ought to set some goals before browsing to narrow the choices. So, I wandered around the PS3500s, with two goals in mind: choose classic authors I’ve never previously read and choose books from different regions. I compromised by allowing myself to get Flannery O’Connor’s Wise Blood. Though quite familiar with her short stories, I can’t recall reading any of her novels. The goals are mere guidelines anyway. When a book grabs you, you can’t help but read it, goals or no goals. And so I left the library, partially triumphant, awaiting the final victory when great books are read, pondered and discussed with good friends.

posted by kristen stewart | 20:54 | thoughts? |

17.12.02
FINALLY, I GOT A GIRL CHARACTER

Eowyn If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Eowyn, Woman of Rohan, niece of King Theoden and sister of Eomer. In the movie, I am played by Miranda Otto. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

A BREAK
Finally, all my exams are finished and all my final papers are turned in, and i am at home for Christmas. No classes or work for three weeks. I think i just might write some things for Chasing Hats again, believe it or not.

posted by kristen stewart | 13:30 | thoughts? |

16.12.02
SABBATH REFLECTION
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled."
Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th' angelic host proclaim,
"Christ is born in Bethlehem."
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Christ, by highest heav'n adored:
Christ, the everlasting Lord;
Late in time behold him come,
Offspring of the favored one.
Veil'd in flesh, the Godhead see;
Hail, th'incarnate Deity:
Pleased, as man, with men to dwell,
Jesus, our Emmanuel!
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King!"

Hail! the heav'n-born Prince of peace!
Hail! the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
Risen with healing in his wings
Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man no more may die:
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
"Glory to the newborn King!"
--Charles Wesley
posted by kristen stewart | 10:05 | thoughts? |

14.12.02
LISTS, LISTS
i attacked Modern Library's 100 best novels lists and here's what i've read:

The Board's List:
2. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald*
3. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce*
5. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley*
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller*
10. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck*
13. 1984 by George Orwell*
19. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison*
31. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell*
36. ALL THE KING'S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
41. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding*
45. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway*
46. THE SECRET AGENT by Jospeh Conrad
64. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger*
67. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad*
74. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway*
78. KIM by Rudyard Kipling
88. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London*

The Readers' List (excluding repeats, which are starred above)
4. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkein
5. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee
65. SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES by Ray Bradbury
77. FARENHEIT 451 by Ray Bradbury
79. WATERSHIP DOWN by Richard Adams
81. THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER by Tom Clancy
90. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST by Ken Kesey
posted by kristen stewart | 20:00 | thoughts? |

13.12.02
I AM SUCH A NUT
i get a lot of pleasure out of following this blog.

If you are reading between 10 and 12 EST, please pray for Mike. His toughest exam (in Biblical Hebrew) is this morning...
posted by kristen stewart | 09:08 | thoughts? |

12.12.02
'TIS THE SEASON
One exam down today, one to go at two. Then i am 3/4 of the way done with my finals! Yay! i couldn't sleep last night. It was miserable. Finally, at 4:00, i turned on one of Doug Wilson's talks from the Auburn Ave. Pastors' Conference and i fell asleep almost immediately. i highly recommend it if you have a sleepless night.
posted by kristen stewart | 09:14 | thoughts? |

10.12.02
ON STUDYING
Do y'all current or former students prefer studying with music or without? If you study with music, what type?
posted by kristen stewart | 19:59 | thoughts? |

THE VALERIE QUIZ
1. Which blogger have you known longest online? Phil, i think. He's in medical school, so he's a slack blogger these days.

2. Which blogger have you known longest IRL? Dustin. i met him when i moved to North Carolina in January of 1995.

3. Which blogger have you spent the most time with IRL? If we aren't counting classes in high school, probably Jamie.

4. Which blogger would you most like to meet IRL (that you haven’t met IRL)? i am not sure. Since i am meeting J.T. soon, i don't want to choose him. Maybe Ellen, she seems super cool.

5. Which blogger do you think has the best blog design? Mike. It's soothing blue, very crisp and clean. Bonus: i get to see that serious picture of him (though i think he looks most like this profile shot).

6. Which blogger do you like most to argue with? i don't like to argue. If i did, i'd probably pick Josh Strodtbeck.

7. Which blogger makes you laugh the most? Duane, hands down.

8. Which blogger intimidates you the most? i am not easily intimidated. Emeth probably comes the closest to intimidating me by being wicked talented.

9. Which blogger do you most wish would post more often? Jenn Horne. i just enjoy reading her anecdotes.

10. Which blogger do you most wish would get a comment system? Nathan Froyd.
posted by kristen stewart | 17:25 | thoughts? |

WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
[begin rambling] i've always been a pretty sane person. i used to look at all my friends who were insecure about the future or guys or their weight or any number of things and think, "Wow, that's sad. i'm glad that's not my big struggle." i was raised to be tremendously independent. What i have learned the past few months is that being dependent is far more difficult than just doing things yourself. It's scary to know that some other mortal has so much control over you. i've finally seen that it's as nice as it is scary. i have someone to share my triumphs and burdens with, not just people to empathize with me. Ecclesiastes is a great book for this life recentering stuff, by the way. [/end unintelligible rant]
posted by kristen stewart | 08:51 | thoughts? |

9.12.02
O TRACKER, MY TRACKER
My tracker seems to have stopped counting most of my hits. i would just think i have become all unpopular, except it happened to Rick a few months ago and so i know it's probably Extreme Tracking's fault. Any other free trackers you'd recommend? I love knowing that people got to my blog recently searching for things like "Sweet Kristen model" "piggyback ride pictures" "Don't throw your pearls to the swine" "Feminine Modesty Doug Wilson Credenda Agenda" "Ghosts, imps, and devils" "i kissed dating goodbye antithesis" "shadowlands + ryan adams" and "mens roles in fairy tales."
posted by kristen stewart | 19:47 | thoughts? |

8.12.02
SABBATH REFLECTION
Of the Father’s love begotten, ere the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega, He the source, the ending He,
Of the things that are, that have been,
And that future years shall see, evermore and evermore!

O that birth forever blessed! When the virgin, full of grace,
By the Holy Ghost conceiving, bore the Savior of our race;
And the Babe, the world’s Redeemer,
First revealed His sacred face, evermore and evermore!

He assumed this mortal body, frail and feeble doomed to die,
That the race from dust created might not perish utterly,
Which the dreadful Law had sentenced
In the depths of hell to lie, evermore and evermore!

This is He Whom once the sibyls with united voice foretold;
Whom the scriptures of the prophets promised in their faithful word;
Now He shines, the long expected,
Let creation praise its Lord, evermore and evermore!

O ye heights of heaven adore Him; angel hosts, His praises sing;
All dominions bow before Him, and extol our God and King!
Let no tongue on earth be silent,
Every voice in concert ring, evermore and evermore!
—Aurelius Clemens Prudentius (348-413)
posted by kristen stewart | 22:33 | thoughts? |

7.12.02
A QUIZ, SINCE SETH HATES THEM

The Ultimate *Which Harry Potter Character are You?* Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

LOCAL CONDITIONS
The lovely snow of Wednesday afternoon turned into brutal freezing rain Wednesday night, devastating our whole state. As of early this afternoon, 350,000 homes and businesses in the Triangle area alone were still without power. Carbon monoxide poisoning from using outdoor heating and cooking units in freezing, powerless homes has resulted in one man's death and the hospitalization of hundreds more. The National Guard is patrolling around in Humvees. UNC has power, and has offered one of the campus gyms as a refuge for those without heat or showers. Many local gas stations have no fuel to offer customers, creating LONG waits at the ones that do. Most of my congregation is still without power, leading several families to camp out at the home of one family who does. This is the scene across much of the area. Others, like the family i nanny for, fled to beach houses on the coast. Living on campus near a large research hospital means that i am never without power for long, so i haven't suffered as much as the vast majority of those in my community. Check in with Paul, Melissa, Josh M. and Jake who have posted their own ice storm experiences.
posted by kristen stewart | 20:44 | thoughts? |

FOR THE DANE
Seth mentioned on his blog that my links were hard to see, so i changed them. The customer is always right, after all.
posted by kristen stewart | 20:31 | thoughts? |

6.12.02
THE USUAL QUESTIONS
I'm sure that most everyone who went to college experienced this their senior year, but every conversation i have with someone who (a) i haven't seen in six or more weeks, (b) is five or more years older than me or (c) is trying to make small talk includes the question "what are you going to do when you graduate?" i finally came up with an appropriate response. "Well, i am going to work for a few years at something until i am able to move into my planned permanent vocation. i want to be a philosopher mom."
posted by kristen stewart | 11:06 | thoughts? |

5.12.02
FLASHBACK TO 6TH GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
My prefered method of proscrastination right now is playing the original Oregon Trail. You can download this and many other classic games from this site. Come over if you want to play RISK :o)
posted by kristen stewart | 09:57 | thoughts? |

4.12.02
LET IT SNOW! LET IT SNOW! LET IT SNOW!
i knew the forecast was predicting snow, but i'm of the belief that in North Carolina, you ought not count your snow-chickens before they hatch. i left to go babysitting with just enough faith to grab a hat and a pair of gloves. To my delight, it began to sleet. The ping-ping-ping of bouncing ice continued for ninety minutes and then, the sound stopped. We looked out the window and saw great big snowflakes coming down. We played inside until we couldn't stand it anymore, then bundled up and went outside to play. Just yesterday we were jumping in leaves, and today, snow angels and snow men and snowball fights! They sent me home almost two hours early, and the three mile trek home was a mess. It's hard to drive on snow-covered ice. i saw many cars fishtailing and one poor taxi traveling forward while pointed at a 45 degree angle. When i got within walking distance of campus, i left my car in the nearest lot, thanking God i hadn't gotten in an accident. i stopped in the Chapel Hill Starbucks on the way back to warm up, and enjoyed the leisurely mile trek home in two or so inches of snow, watching undergraduates prance around like children, having snowball fights and making snow angels and taking many pictures on their digital cameras. It's still coming down. i think i need some cocoa.
posted by kristen stewart | 15:55 | thoughts? |

3.12.02
AFTERNOON QUIZ

8 things on your desk:
17” Dell Monitor (acquired secondhand)
coffee cup
Krispy Kreme hat
Mary (mother of Jesus) night light
plastic trophy from the Lame Games 2001
photographs
remote (for CD player)
stack of sheet music for Psalms

7 things you touch every day:
cell phone
glasses
hair
keys
mouse
pillow
toes

6 movies you can't live without:
Casablanca
the Princess Bride
Say Anything
the Shawshank Redemption
To Kill a Mockingbird
the Usual Suspects

5 nicknames you have had in your life:
K. Knox
Kissin’
Special K
Turtle
Wee Miss Kris

4 places you want to visit:
California
Greece
Italy
the United Kingdom

3 things you wish you could change about yourself:
energy
fear
self-centredness

2 phone numbers you call most:
speed dial #2 (Mike)
speed dial #4 (Rick)

1 person you plan to spend the rest of your life with:
i’ll let y’all speculate who that is
posted by kristen stewart | 16:17 | thoughts? |

MORNING QUIZ

What's Your Movie Dream Car?

by Auto Glass America

2.12.02
WHY DOES BLOGGER ONLY LOSE MY THOUGTFUL POSTS?
Blogger ate TWO good posts about patriarchy. To summarize: i'm scared of being a deaf-mute wife in an extremely patriarchal church. thoughts?
posted by kristen stewart | 15:14 | thoughts? |

THE BEST IMITATION OF MYSELF
Do you ever feel like you don't do anything well? Then do you feel like your self pity is evidence that you are indeed the most self-centred person in the universe? i want it to be Tuesday already!
posted by kristen stewart | 15:01 | thoughts? |

FEEDING MY QUIZ ADDICTION

	You are Kermit! Though you're technically the star, you're pretty mellow and don't mind letting others share the spotlight. You are also something of a dreamer.
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

1.12.02
SABBATH REFLECTION
Crown Him with many crowns, the Lamb upon His throne.
Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing of Him who died for thee,
And hail Him as thy matchless King through all eternity.

Crown Him the Lord of love, behold His hands and side,
Those wounds, yet visible above, in beauty glorified.
No angel in the sky can fully bear that sight,
But downward bends his burning eye at mysteries so bright.

Crown Him the Lord of life, who triumphed over the grave,
And rose victorious in the strife for those He came to save.
His glories now we sing, Who died, and rose on high,
Who died eternal life to bring, and lives that death may die.

Crown Him the Lord of peace, Whose power a scepter sways
From pole to pole, that wars may cease, and all be prayer and praise.
His reign shall know no end, and round His pierced feet
Fair flowers of paradise extend their fragrance ever sweet.

Crown Him the Lord of Heaven, enthroned in worlds above,
Crown Him the King to Whom is given the wondrous name of Love.
Crown Him with many crowns, as thrones before Him fall;
Crown Him, ye kings, with many crowns, for He is King of all.
posted by kristen stewart | 16:34 | thoughts? |

Aaron // Alex // Amy // Andrew // Annie // Barb // Ben // Berek // Brandon + Wendy // Chris // Christin // Daniel // Dave + Melissa // Dave H. // Dave K. (mostly) // Davey // Dawn G. // deadyetblogging // Deacon // Dustin // Ellen // Emeth // Francis // Dr. George // Gideon // Hester // Isaiah // J.T. // Jake // James B. // Jason G. // Jason K. // Jason W. // Jeff M. // Jeff N. // Jen // Jenn H. // Jenn N. // Jenny // Jessie // Joel // John Ba. // John Bu. // Jon A. // Jon B. // Jon S. // Jonathan W. // Jonvw // Josh M. // Josh S. // Josh W. // Kelly // Laurel // Lucy // Matt B. // Matt C. // Matt H. // Megan // Melissa // Mike // Nate // Nathanael // Nick // Nikkiana // Paul // Paulo // Phil // Rachel // Real Live Preacher // Remy // Richard B. // Richard O. // Rick // Rob // Russ Y. // Sarah G. // Sarah H. // Sarah J. // Seth // Shane // Shimmer // Sora // Summer // Tim E. // Tim G. // Tom // Valerie // Valerie S. //