“And what have I learned along the way? Three things, closely related. The first is that people are often in pain; their lives are shadowed by memories and anticipations of inadequacy, and they are always afraid that the next moment will bring disaster or exposure. You can see it in their faces, and that is especially true of children who have not yet learned how to pretend that everything is all right and who are acutely aware of the precariousness of their situations.

The second thing I have learned is that the people who are most in pain are the people who act most badly; the worse people behave, the more they are in pain. They’re asking for help, although the form of the request is such that they are likely never to get it.

The third thing I have learned follows from the other two. It is the necessity of generosity. I suppose it is a form of the golden rule: if you want them to be generous to you, be generous to them. The rule acknowledges the fellowship of fragility we all share. In your worst moments — which may appear superficially to be your best moments — what you need most of all is the sympathetic recognition of someone who says, if only in a small smile or half-nod, yes, I have been there too, and I too have tried to shore up my insecurity with exhibitions of pettiness, bluster, overconfidence, petulance and impatience. It’s not, “But for the grace of God that could be me”; it’s, “Even with the grace of God, that will be, and has been, me.”

I am so grateful for Spotify, which makes it easy to listen to anything I want. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s open to the public now and you should try it out if you like music.

I’ve chosen a song or two from 2011 albums of note (to me) and made a playlist. I listen to a lot of these as entire albums, but the playlist is a good launching pad. Also, going to the playlist will help you find me, as Michael and I are sharing an account and it is not linked to my facebook.

That’s a common theme lately, apparently, as my main pinterest is linked to twitter, not facebook, so everyone adds my boring account. Here I am! I can also invite you if you need the hook up.

Rivers and Roads on YouTube (in case the frame doesn’t load for you.)

If you are already using Spotify, here’s a playlist I made of music I’ve been appreciating so far in 2011. Being able to easily share playlists through both twitter and facebook is another great feature.

We have a few more invites if you’d like one.

Even though Lexi tolerates the rock and pop standards I rotate into their playlists much better than she used to, she refused to include any of them in this list. I thought “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” might make the cut or something by the Beatles. Nope. Truly, these are her choices. I don’t loathe any of these songs, but none of them are on my list of current favorites, either.

2011.02
Say Hey (I Love You) . Michael Franti & Spearhead
I Gotta Feeling . The Black Eyed Peas
Whip My Hair . Willow
Shackles (Praise You) . Mary Mary
Hello Seattle . Owl City
Live Like There’s No Tomorrow . Selena Gomez & the Scene
What I Am . will.i.am (sesame street)
Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag . Minnutes
Edge of the World . Mat Kearney
A Place in This World . Taylor Swift
More to Luv . Minnutes
Everybody . Ingrid Michaelson
Over the Rainbow . Jason Castro

As for me, I always think of “This Joyful Eastertide.” One year in Austin, but the hymnody of Redeemer Presbyterian sticks to the brain.

The beautiful thing is that as I consider these hymns, I may have preferences, but there is a clear message: He is Risen! Happy Easter.

LEXI’S LIST . 2010.01
I Got You (I Feel Good) – James Brown
Video Killed The Radio Star – The Buggles
What I Like About You – The Romantics
I’d Rather Dance With You – Kings of Convenience
Run With All You’ve Got – Jon Black
You Make My Dreams – Hall & Oates
Proud Mary – Creedence Clearwater Revival
When I’m Sixty-Four – The Beatles
Chicago – Sufjan Stevens
The Littlest Birds – The Be Good Tanyas
Wrapped Up in Books - Belle & Sebastian
Three Little Birds – Bob Marley
Peace Like a River – Elizabeth Mitchell
Lovely, Love My Family – The Roots
My Girl – The Temptations
Shoo Fly – Elizabeth Mitchell
Beautiful Girl – Andrew Peterson And Randall Goodgame
Great Big World - Pierce Pettis
This Little Light Of Mine – Elizabeth Mitchell
Bedtime Lullaby – Mark Kozelek

Talking to Kate about it was interesting. Trying to get her head around such hate was difficult. When the camera panned to the audience during I Have a Dream, she asked, “are those the Christians?” It was a reminder to me that God’s people will break her heart and disappoint her. Not sure how to prepare her for that but it’s something I will think about.

There is this part of the speech, “I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.” Kate smiled at me when she heard it. She told me that was true at Cornerstone.

It’s not always easy to talk to kids about race, hate, prejudice, and injustice. I realized we need to be having more of these conversations.

I was living with a girl who did not curse. Or like to hear cursing. A girl who enjoyed listening to K-Love. Whenever I wanted to be alone, all I had to do was start playing it and she would scatter.

Growing up a bit, I dropped my need to play “Come Pick Me Up” loudly. It’s still a good listen. Sometimes I even ache to hear “Oh My Sweet Carolina” with Emmylou Harris providing the sweet harmonies. And when I feel like harmonica (and I do, from time to time) this is one of my first choices. All the passion makes this album one that I will never forget.

Parenting is one big adventure of shaping your children’s views of the world, life and everything, and doing things like this makes me consider how much we are exposing them to the arts. It makes me understand how people can get sucked in to over-scheduling with activity after activity because if you neglect one, you might miss a great gift or not develop a passion. I think we can all see how an excess of pursuits can tax a family in many ways, and distort a child’s view of his own importance, but drawing the line between good and too much can’t be easy.

How do you find balance in your family? Is it dictated by time, cost, number of pursuits per child?

* i didn’t like it
** it was okay
*** liked it
**** really liked it
***** it was amazing

It’s simple and intuitive, but it leaves much to be desired. There are great books that I don’t necessarily like, but I still find worth reading for some reason or another. For example, I don’t know that I “really liked” Lolita. But it is marked four stars on my goodreads account. I think Nabov set out to show us a warped mind, a thoroughly unlikeable narrator, a child we want to care for and can’t always bring ourselves to. He portrayed coercion and tyranny in dark, messy, and very human ways. It was a novel the world didn’t know we needed, and for that, I think the book has a rightful place among the classics.

Sometimes books are written or movies are made with a purpose in mind other than leaving the audience with a warm and fuzzy feeling. And then they need to be evaluated by whether that purpose is worth pursuing, and how well they fulfilled their purpose. Criticism larger than just plain gut reaction. In that way, a movie with an ending you aren’t happy with can still be something that you believe is an amazing film.

I am not sure how we fix the stars of goodreads, just know that likability is not my only concern as I rate.