I’ve been writing. Not everyday, but most days I spend an hour or more watching the cursor blink and choosing words.
The trouble is, I am not quite sure what to write. I finished a project that had me busy for weeks. With no deadlines on the horizon, I write for myself alone.
I keep thinking through different ideas in my head, hoping I am so compelled by one I can’t stop myself from writing it. Believing this drive will come, I wait.
As I do, I consider writing longer, better blog posts. In an effort to inspire myself, I decided to find some of my most popular blog posts to feature in my sidebar, perhaps shedding some light on my audience here (which has always surprised me.)
I knew that the advent of facebook and twitter had decreased my comment count significantly, but pulling up my posts ordered by comment count was overwhelmingly depressing. Pages and pages of posts with 20 or more comments five and six years ago, scrolling and clicking back in vain to find something current enough to feature.
The questions descend, like a flood. Why do I keep this blog anymore? Why do I write at all? Why can’t I come up with a marketable idea of what to be when I grow up? I’m a grown-up now, right?
Maybe this neurosis is the best sign that I need to keep on writing. Perhaps in writing I will find the answers that I long for, or more comfort in my questions.
Even in my insecurity, I know that people read this blog, even if they don’t comment, but I’ve never kept it for them, I keep it for me. It is a gift to have eleven years of life captured in blog posts. When I read them, I remember. Not just what I wrote about, but what I felt and what life was like, who I was. I am grateful for the time I have spent blogging and I carry on another day.
Don’t you also cross post many other places now? (Amazon, goodreads, etc?)
yes, but i don’t really get comments there. occasionally on facebook or twitter.
Oh my, you speak of the blogger’s insecurities so well. I struggle not just with comments, as I know so many people have gotten used to lurking and skimming, but with consistent traffic itself. But on we go, because we, the bloggers, need to write.
I’ve often wondered what distinguishes a blogger from a non-blogger. I think we bloggers are more honest about wanting other people to love them. Sure, we write for ourselves and our memories, but we also write for the comments. The, knowing we are not alone. I, for one have been enjoying the resurgence of this blog. So keep it up.
Remember how there use to be all these blog etiquette posts like forever ago in 2006. How to be a good reader, as well as how to be a good blogger? Maybe there should be and updated version, to include FB and twitter and pinterest and blog reading etiquette all combined. Where is Emily Post when you need her? Haha.
This got me to thinking… reflecting on the past… This year will be my 15th year blogging. A lot of stuff has changed, a lot of stuff has stayed the same. And well… I’d say, I don’t think it’s necessarily that you peaked in 2006 so much as over time readership tends to change as people age and their paths go different ways.
I tend to think of blogging like a very loose community often times… Bloggers I read often tend to read other bloggers I read. Looking back, you’re part of a community that I am largely no longer in touch with save two or three people, and even so it’s pretty seldom I reach out and comment (despite the fact that I read) on a post simply because at this point I feel like our lives have very little in common and I don’t have much to add.
I had a few years where I blogged fairly sporadically and changed the location of my blog and at times I look back on the early 2000s and feel frustrated because I don’t have the readership numbers that I had back then…. That I don’t have the bravery I had back then… But, I’ve been trying to make a concerted effort to get out there and comment on people I’d like to get to know, try to spend a little less time on Facebook / Twitter but still utilize them to my advantage… I keep plugging along.
I mean, I’ve been doing this for more than half of my life now. It’s just a part of who I am.
Please don’t stop writing! I feel the same, although I’ve only been TRYING to do this for about a year now. Sometimes, I’m just over myself, and think, “If I’m over myself, surely everyone else is, too!” Grab some coffee, take a few vitamins, & carry on! I always look forward to these little glimpses of your soul!
I’m here and reading :) I especially love learning what you know about the church calendar and all the ideas you have about celebrating them. Keep on keeping on, my friend!
I read when I can. I break promises to myself to actually post things I write. When I find the time to write. I think our blogs go through seasons (admittedly ours has been on a low one almost since its inception) but I’ve always loved reading yours and you always make me want to write and post something.