So this is me, I’m always failing

For some time, I’ve been having a blogging identity crisis. I don’t know what to write about and what not to write about. I feel like this blog is a pretty poor reflection of who I am in many ways. I like theology and I think about it pretty frequently, but this is not a theoblog, nor will it ever be. I am a mother, but I don’t feel like this blog quite fits in with the bloggin’ Christian momma crowd. I think quite a bit about a variety of issues, but this blog is not where I process those thoughts.

This is partially due to the fact that almost everyone we know pops in here at least occasionally. This serves to rein me in quite a bit as I care about my friends and family and don’t want to offend or hurt them. Also, even though our last name is common, future employers have found and read this blog before, so exercising some caution seems wise in that department as well.

I love my children and I do think deeply about parenting often, but even on their blogs I am careful about what I write about them, as I don’t want them to be too embarrassed about it in the future. Also, I am not presumptuous enough to pontificate too much on issues relating to parenting, even though when I do it tends to incite interesting dialogue.

Honestly, the fact that so many people read this blog is a mystery to me. If there are particular things you really enjoy that I post about, let me know, you many help me out of my bloggin’ funk, which is certainly related to the general funk of my week.

15 responses to “So this is me, I’m always failing

  1. i hear ya. i’m having the same issues with ::meditatio:: and have blogged about it in the last week or so.

  2. and for the record, you’re not failing.

  3. Kristen –

    First of all you have way more readers than I do, so when I lump us together here, I do so with my tongue really close to my cheek.

    We\’re not failing bloggers, we\’re fringe bloggers. Here\’s the goofy thing – I\’ve actually been thinking about this quite a bit lately, particularly with regards to yet another *gag* round of blog awards coming up. I roll my eyes in their general direction.

    I\’m not a theoblog either. Nor a totally mommy blog. Nor a specifically homeschool blog. I\’m sort of a fish-out-of-water blog. I\’m not saying that you are that, but I have always been drawn to you because you are holistic in your writing and I like that.

    Sure, everyone has their soapboxes and sure, it\’s okay to jump on them every once in a while. But folks that do that everyday really drive me away from them. Same with those who write the same things over and over and over (Sally did this today. Sally did that yesterday. Sally will do this tomorrow. Isn\’t she funny?)

    I enjoy that you share from the edges of your life – all the edges, at least all the edges you are comfortable putting on a public space.

    Take heart. You are loved because of that, not despite it.

  4. (delurking for first time ever) I have been reading this blog for about a year now, and though I have almost nothing in common with you (not a Christian, not a mother, not SAHM, etc.) except being a human being, I read it, as I do a lot of other blogs, to get a “slice” of American life. I like that you write about a bunch of different stuff from your perspective.

  5. Oh, the post title is from a song stuck in my head. I bet a few readers could place it.

    I think “Oh no I’ve said too much / I haven’t said enough” would be lyrics that more appropriately capture the feelings behind this post, but it is my blog, after all.

    Jen and Megan, thanks for the love from the fringe.

    SB — thanks for delurking. It’s always interesting to learn who exactly visits here, and how they got there, and why they stick around. Unique visits on a stat counter don’t tell those stories.

  6. I really enjoy you blogging about books you’ve read, Kristen. It’s nice to see what people I know think about books I haven’t read (or have read), and helps me add to my book list things I may not have thought about reading either because I had never heard of it or because I didn’t think the book would interest me.

  7. Kristen, I read your blog because:
    1. It’s cool that someone I know writes and puts her thoughts into words so well
    2. Because you’re so diverse about what you write about- it keeps me thinking about things that I wouldn’t have otherwise have thought about (or done, I’m cloth diapering mostly because of your positive portrayal on the blog, and you helped encourage me to nurse my last adopted baby)
    3. I like know to know what Reformed people are thinking about, whether I agree with it or not. It gives us interesting things to talk about at the dinner table, besides what the kids did during the day.

    Keep up the book reviews! and the recipes! keep writing about random things that you think are interesting…

  8. Once upon a time I had a popular blog, thanks to the Orange Revolution. (The Orange what? I know some people are saying. *L*)

    I started blogging (after reading yours and lots of others) just ’cause I wanted a record of some of the things the kids did and I thought and our family lived through, instead of having them simply disappear into nothingness, as they were when I was posting them elsewhere. I don’t post much lately. Kinda feeling. . . *shrug* I dunno.

    Also, even though our last name is common, future employers have found and read this blog before, so exercising some caution seems wise in that department as well.

    Yup. That’s exactly why I don’t use my name (though it isn’t too hard to figure out if you are really looking) and why I refuse to use my kids’ names publicly anymore online. Want to protect their privacy as adults. Trust me, it was an eye-opener to find out a past supervisor google’d us. . .

  9. Hi Kristen,
    I’m fairly new to your blog, but I enjoy the variety in your posts. What initially drew me was book talk, though. I like that you blog about a variety of things, but that’s how I blog, too, so maybe I’m just biased. ;-)

    I totally hear ya about being reined in by folks you know reading. I almost wish my in-real-life friends and family knew nothing about my blog — not because I’d blog “bad” stuff, but just because there’s a lot I’d like to share or discuss but feel uncomfortable doing because I might hurt or offend or worry someone. Just recently I blogged about groaning through this life, and a few family members were worried about me. Seriously, if I was going to cry for help, it wouldn’t be on my blog! ;-)

    I also don’t feel free to share a lot of what my kids say and do because they sometimes read my blog. One is a teenager and the other is about to be, so I try to be sensitive to their possible humiliation.

    All of that to say, I understand. Just keep being you and blogging about what interests you. I’ll keep reading.

  10. Kristen-
    Sorry about the funk- I’ve been in one for way too long myself. We will pull out of it soon, right?!?!?!

    I love reading your blog precisely because your writing touches on such a diverse range of topics. We have so much in common (reli majors at UNC, a liking of Kaufman, a loathing of Ehrman, SAHM with two little ones, cooking, reading, etc.)so obviously many of the things that interest you also interest me. We also differ a lot in our opinions of parenting, religion, and ideas about what books are worth reading. However, this is precisely what makes your blog great for me. It is interesting and gives me something to think about. Plus, stumbling across your girls’ blogs was the one thing that inspired me to start blogs for my two. I will continue to check back often for all of the aforementioned reasons. And also because I get bored. Really, really bored.

  11. I’m an often tongue-tied blogger as well.

    I found your blog a couple years ago through Tulipgirl’s blogroll and I enjoy checking out what you’ve been reading and what you’ve been cooking. I wish I read more and cooked more, and you inspire me to better things in those areas of my life. :-)

  12. aaahh indeed the fringe. i have only been reading your classical life for a couple of months, may have mentioned my mom found you here and suggested i check it. i am interested in what you are reading and really in what you have to say about what you’ve read. short concise reviews that aren’t wrapped in emotional blah. i am not a mother nor a parent, i am not even married, but have been blogging for what seems to be a very very long time. i blog for all kinds of reasons and very rarely anyone other than my mom or best friends comment. there seems to be a inside/outside blog world and i’ve grown content in my self perceived “outside” status. there is a place for all of us and i am challenged in and by the blog world to reflect my true identity, my true thoughts and feeling on a variety of issues. my writing and thinking have all become different and better, at least i hope, over the years.

    when i have thought about protecting and reserving parts of my self, i am surprised how people can read into things that aren’t there. on the other hand i think that blogging can be all about self promotion and how i could take a thousand pictures of myself and out of all the photos, there is only one that i’d want to post, that isn’t embarassing or unflattering.
    i think as a christian god gives and commands responsibilty. what am i responsible for sharing when i post…blogging is potentially a conversation with the world. i could go on and on…
    take care though.

  13. Hey Kristen,

    When I read this yesterday, I’ve been thinking ever since, “how can I encourage K?” Because you list some very real concerns (especially since you use your full name). Maybe you should reincarnate yourselves? I think there is also a way to make your site “unGoogleable”. But you would have to ask someone more tech-y than I; it’s just hearsay anyway.

    I think the Everything Blog is fun. Mine is like that. I’ve thought several times, i should break off and just have an academic blog somewhere else. But that’s not me. I like having Everything out there, because I’m a varied person, and you get a better picture. And I think it’s artificial to think that some parts of your life don’t affect other parts. So I wouldn’t worry about the Categorial Problem. :-)

    Like other people have said, I think you’ve encouraged me the most as a parent. I was pretty knowledgeable about baby stuff before I got pregnant. But being able to babysit is SOOO different. From your easy conversation and occasional moments of activism, I’ve not only been made aware of but really appreciate insight gained from the whole AP route. You’re not a wack-o hippie (as cool as they are *grin*), rather you’re someone like me. Your engaging and careful style is enjoyable to read, even when you’re taking to task Issues.

    And, like the others, I like the book reviews. Partly for the other reasons I just mentioned. You bring awareness and suggestions in a friendly manner.

    Hang in there through your blogging funk. For us Long-timeys (I know I’m only 4 yrs and you’re longer) it’s bound to happen. I hope someday to actually meet you.

  14. Well, you know I’ve been having a bit of an “identity blogging crisis” and was hoping a new blog would help there. It does help to a degree to feel a bit more anonymous.

    I read your blog strictly for the book recommendations, btw. ;)

  15. Hi. I think I may have posted a comment here before, but here I am. Like many others, I like to read your book reviews and recommendations. You inspire me to keep reading, even when I think I don’t have the time!

    I enjoy your take on parenting. I also have 2 girls who are 18 months apart, but mine are now 5 and 6 years old and they are each other’s best friend. I love that about their relationship. And my son is just a few months older than your oldest daughter and I love to read about her conversations with you. I can relate!

    In fact, that’s probably why I read/lurk on your blog. I can relate to a lot of your posts! My blog is also multi-faceted–like yours–and I know for a fact that my readership (small, though it is) spans the age and gender demographic, and I like that about it.

    I actually tried to set up an anonymous blog once, but I really hated it and I deleted it. Maybe I’m more egotistical that I thought! I also feel like my creativity has been lacking of late, so my postings on my “real” blog have been few.

    Here’s hoping the funk ends soon. I’m looking forward to hearing more book reviews! You’ve already read 4 more books than me this year! :)

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